Good Bye, House

Good bye, house.
Good bye, mouse ... traps.
Good bye, closet door that you can’t open unless the bedroom door is closed.
Good bye, single water line that means you can’t flush if there’s laundry going.
Good bye, crack in the wall that has the habit of sometimes looking like a rabbit.

Good bye, improperly installed storm door that moans with a cold northwest wind.
Good bye, hot water toilet that we fixed eight years ago.
Good bye, potential for that toilet to explode in an unheated bathroom (we added heat five years ago but I’m still bitter).
Good bye, giant hatch in kitchen ceiling that can expose the second floor plumbing.
Good bye, feeling that I ought to fix everything.

Good bye, dining room non-acoustical ceiling with unexplained hole.
Good bye, unfinishable basement.
Good bye, huge sunny garden a mother can't make time for.

Good bye, house with many expensive problems.
Good bye, busy urban street in a mostly sweet residential suburban neighborhood.
Good bye, bus stop across from living room windows, community gathering place, facilitator of loitering nuisances.
Good bye, frequent route for ambulances and fire trucks.

Good bye, incredible equity accumulation.
Good bye, future development as multi-family housing opposed by the neighborhood.
Good bye, uphill battle.

Good bye, Benjamin Moore 963, lovingly applied to the hallways.
Good bye, brand new, extremely expensive roof.

Good bye, house which I bought as breadwinner in my first marriage.
Good bye, first home I created for my child.
Good bye, house I came home to the night my husband died.

Good bye, house where I felt trapped with a crazy toddler.
Good bye, house I left each morning to go to work, a blessed distraction and relief.
Good bye, house where I learned to walk again, built up my strength, and hosted new friends.
Good bye, house where I rediscovered my bliss and found out some new joys, too.
Good bye, house that I left, hand in hand with my daughter and my second husband.

* * * Comments * * *


Alicia said...

Goodbye, and good luck!

Widow in the Middle said...

I find this post just lovely and funny besides! You're showing that we all can say goodbye when that time comes. I noticed that what you are saying goodbye to seem to be those things that aren't positive. Was this intentional? Anyway, loved this post and the way you end it with the description of you holding the hands of your daughter and second husband.

I also wish you luck and happiness ahead in your new house. I look forward to hearing how you are settling in.

Puddock said...

Oh, Supa Dupa, how I get this! I've just moved house on my own for the first time, leaving behind the house of doom - the house where the Golfer died and everything seemed to go wrong.

I love your list. It's like a mantra to be chanted, or maybe a football chant (do you have those in the States), to be yelled enthusiastically at the top of your voice to intimidate the opposition.

I wish you luck and happiness in your next house.

Jan said...

If the walls in your old house could speak, they would say goodbye, we witnessed the making of your life here, goodbye and good luck, we'll miss you too.

Supa Dupa Fresh said...

Thank you, friends!

WITM, It's funny, at this point many of my ideas about this house -- the physical house itself -- ARE negative. We never had enough money to fix it up, and we were picky, aesthetic people, so we were unhappy with it in many ways. The house contains all my memories of infertility and Gavin's illness and the initial months of grieving (who knows if those are the worst. I hear stories!).

Puddock, it's supposed to sound a bit like "Good Night, Moon," an iconic children's book, but I don't think I succeeded. I love the idea of the soccer fans' mantra -- let's just say that's what I was aiming at all along!

X to you all for sharing YOUR moves and feelings too!


Betty Welch said...

I will be leaving my home to move in with my fiancé in another 36 hours. It's been an emotional roller coaster.. Thanks for your blog, it helps.

Supa Dupa Fresh said...

Betty, come join Widowed and Remarried on Facebook! It's for anyone in a durable new relationship. You'll find many who have been there!

Thanks for your comment.



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