The Social WWW (Web We Weave)

It’s finally getting interesting. The first boyfriend (TF), who was perfect and fantastic last December, was around when I started (after Match and Plentyoffish had popped my cherry) to join social networking sites.

So, I asked him to link to me on LinkedIn. I think it was after we slept together, but I can’t remember exactly. Yes, it was clear to me it was a career site, but we had some professional overlap and we had sworn already that we would stay friends, no matter what happened romantically.

Now he’s my only Netflix “friend.” I can find out what he’s watching and how much he likes it. I don’t need this. (Yes, I don’t have to look, but I did once and I didn’t need that). I get updates on who he is meeting from LinkedIn.

See, I didn’t know the web would get this tangled. Not quite true – I knew things would begin to reach a certain density and then I would have to revisit things. But when I lightly changed my “relationship status” to “engaged.” I didn’t quite expect 13 congratulations e-mails almost immediately. There’s a big church contingent on FB and there were another 10 references in person on Sunday (“I hear congratulations are in order…?”) based on what I started to call “my Facebook engagement.”

TF wasn’t on Facebook, or just barely, when we were dating. Now he has a photo and everything, and he can see my basics, including relationship status, even without asking to friend me. He knows I'm still using the pic that helped me net him. I know it’s not my problem, but it is the world that I now live in. Do I ask to be his “friend” so we can at least be open? No, many of my peeps will say, "That's the guy who...?" He might not want that. And should I ask him to get off my LinkedIn? (That seems fine to me, I only have about 80 connections whereas I have more than 150 FB friends. We could still overlap. And we're nominally friendly if not "friends" in that "not dating" sense.).

But I would really like to unlink his Netflix. Wait, new implication: he’s checking what I rent? He knows about “Barbie and the Diamond Castle”?

Yes, we had torrid sex, and yes, he had young kids and was still living at home, and yes, I broke his heart. But if this gets out under my real name, I’m fucking ruined.


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