2.11.2011

Very superstitious: one more omen, manmade

There was one more omen, and it was fairly early: after the second surgery, but before the failure of the first miracle drug, which was when I really started to ignore the drumbeat.

Gavin was a lot older than I was, and this ball was leftover from his childhood. Handpainted, blown glass, so fragile -- what glorious colors. It broke as I unwrapped it this last Christmas of his. Short Stack was nearly 2, so I don't know what I was thinking to hang this most precious of relics on our wobbly real tree. The last few pictures I have of Gavin are at this holiday, showing her his favorite wind up toys on top of a photography book, a gift that weighed as much as our little girl did. Little dear, she greeted our Christmas tree with joy as "apple doo!," for what reason, we never figured out (though it might have had one red ball on it).

He wasn't attached to this ornament, but it was one of my favorites, including from my history, and you may remember that I am a nutball about Christmas. And we had our eye intent on other round things, the pills that were promised after the new year, a long awaited investigational drug, just after approval, and in the nick of time: O holiday miracle medical.

I might have never forgiven myself for breaking it, but it's only a "thing," and I was sure, at this point, that I had even thrown out the photo.

But here it is. Isn't it lovely?

4 comments:

annie said...

I think the universe does try to alert us to coming events - good and bad. And there is nothing sinister about it. Omen is a word fraught with conflict and danger. It's really just a heads up. Get ready thing.

Very pretty ornament.

tk said...

For our second or third Christmas together, Richard and I bought this really gaudy lighted star for the top of our tree. In those days a $10 star was a major purchase. Christmas 2009, the first after he died, the 32 y/o star worked for about 4 days, then would no loner light, even with new bulbs, so there you go...

Teresa

Silly Wise Woman said...

The Christmas immediately following my husband's death, I simply could not find the collection of Christmas movies that he had sequestered to be brought out during the holiday season. I swear, I searched our hall closet at least ten times, but it was as if they disappeared. I decided we would just go without them, as it would have been too sad to watch them without him anyway.

The following year, I found them. They were sitting in a package clearly marked in huge block letters with the words, "Christmas Movies," underlined in red. They were sitting right in the hall closet where they had always been. So we watched a couple of our favorites, and it was really fun...

Go figure...

Supa Dupa Fresh said...

Annie, I don't know if I even think the universe has that much intention about these... I am coming to think at least for the sort of scary signs, it's a way for my unconscious to make something appear clearer or at least louder.
... Though with the "owl" sighting in the last post, I do think that was a message.

TK, great story! Funny how things sometimes seem to do our feeling for us...

SWW, Wow.... so much hides in plain sight, doesn't it?

X to you all. Now THIS Christmas is already just a memory... one more! Thanks for your visits, and sharing your words.

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