It's hard for me to convey just how much I hate this time of year.
Usually, though, Valentine's Day is the start of the off-ramp, the upswing. Even though the light's been gaining on us, a minute at a time, mid-February is when it begins to seem real, that spring might come.
Yes, there are still treasures: Mr. Fresh bought me some chocolates yesterday, thinking there were actual mushrooms in the "truffles." I asked him if he was joking, looking intently in each other's eyes, and I could not tell if he was. (He was serious).
And we are planning our honeymoon. In our own way, while we learn about each other and how to cope with the in's and out's of each other's routine weekend lowpoints.
The other night we were teasing each other and he said, "God, we are just like an old married couple." Me: "We are an old married couple. We just weren't married to each other most of that time."
So I'm still feeling down, and needing naps. It doesn't help that the economic situation seems to have sunk in a bit all around. Tuesday I felt everyone in town was finally seeing the buzzards circling above (no blame -- I have been looking steadfastly away too). And reading blogs of young widows and widowers, recapping their death experiences and their denials, hearing of their shocks, does not help (though finding comrades does). I dread looking at my analytics and seeing the downward bounce after being featured in BoingBoing (thanks, Gar). Sure, it was up 3217%.... that means it will soon be down 3216% too. I'm a silly blogger, a bad journal writer, and a mediocre worker overall.
But there's dark chocolate in the house, and a scuba honeymoon to look forward to. So, onward.
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