tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post8914752963811276854..comments2023-07-31T09:35:21.967-04:00Comments on Fresh Widow: One of Many ShrinesSupa Dupa Freshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07659738264922395349noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-18338126967950730142009-11-14T21:18:48.827-05:002009-11-14T21:18:48.827-05:00Abel,
In my case, with all the art and living wit...Abel,<br /><br />In my case, with all the art and living with our small daughter, we had SO MANY shrine-like things that I thought my many, many lovers (two) should respect the huge amount I'd already cleared.<br /><br />But asking Mr. Fresh how it's been to live here for the past year, now that we are moving out... I have to say I agree with you.<br /><br />Thanks for visiting, I'm grateful to have found your blog what seems like a thousand years ago. You really provided me with a lot of hope.<br /><br />X<br /><br />SupaSupa Dupa Freshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07659738264922395349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-63746537368910291862009-11-05T16:04:19.783-05:002009-11-05T16:04:19.783-05:00Supa,
To be clear: I only object to shrines/memor...Supa,<br /><br />To be clear: I only object to shrines/memorials once the widow/widower has entered into a serious relationship with someone else. I think taking them down is part of the process of moving on and making room in your heart for someone else. For me the process of taking down the photos and other things once I become committed to Marathon Girl really helped with the process of starting over with her.<br /><br />Shrines/memorials in the home are the biggest complaint I get in my inbox week after week from women dating widowers. It makes them feel like they’re competing with a ghost and the widower isn’t ready to move on. <br /><br />(Full disclosure: though pretty much everything that could memorialize my late wife is packed up in a box, I have a shelf full of her favorite books in my library/office. It’s kind of like your late husband’s paintings hanging around the house.)<br /><br />AbelAbelhttp://abelkeogh.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-53233876987506852009-11-05T11:51:47.995-05:002009-11-05T11:51:47.995-05:00Roads, I should probably have made my conclusion c...Roads, I should probably have made my conclusion clearer: Abel has a point, as reluctant as I am to admit it. My literal baggage is definitely a huge annoyance for Mr. Fresh, but it's been easy to write off because long ago we "knew that we were moving." <br /><br />I still think it's just generally tacky to have personal memorabilia all over the public parts of the house (even though I do it). <br /><br />Gavin was an artist and the same rules apply to hanging your own work: you're not supposed to do it. It makes your house look like a store. It's just wrong.<br /><br />But we gave in when we bought our own place. Now that he's my "late husband," those pieces are okay now (and we'll definitely hang some in the new house -- my choices this time!).<br /><br />X<br /><br />SupaSupa Dupa Freshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07659738264922395349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-35892521171182993602009-11-04T14:39:36.584-05:002009-11-04T14:39:36.584-05:00Perhaps surprisingly, I'm partly with Abel on ...Perhaps surprisingly, I'm partly with Abel on this one -- at least inasfar as I think that the public display of (too much) memorabilia is disrespectful of your new partner and will cause unnecessary tension.<br /><br />Like Vanessa, and like you I have my stuff (and far too much of it, at that) which I just won't (can't?) let go, but I don't keep it out front of house.Roadshttp://thepriceoflove.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-85546076376964438692009-11-03T14:01:17.449-05:002009-11-03T14:01:17.449-05:00I don't know if it's a shrine as such, but...I don't know if it's a shrine as such, but on a bookshelf in my living room, I have a bronze crucifix and a small wooden chest that holds my husband's personal things, his wallet and glasses and iPod and MedicAlert bracelet. No one else would know what's in it, but I know.Vanessahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07023601396140884557noreply@blogger.com