tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post5023115210999724668..comments2023-07-31T09:35:21.967-04:00Comments on Fresh Widow: After Life: Ashes to AshesSupa Dupa Freshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07659738264922395349noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-21237104897038059062010-01-23T23:33:16.402-05:002010-01-23T23:33:16.402-05:00Jen, sounds perfect! Nice when there can be a litt...Jen, sounds perfect! Nice when there can be a little justice in the picture.<br />X<br />SupaSupa Dupa Freshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07659738264922395349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-76861101724060052632010-01-23T00:23:42.831-05:002010-01-23T00:23:42.831-05:00My 8-year-old stepson wanted a place to "visi...My 8-year-old stepson wanted a place to "visit" daddy, so I got a niche to put a bit of my husband's ashes. (I don't care for "cremains" either -- too cutesy). I hated the idea of a cold, dark, sterile resting place, but while trying to figure out what container to use for the ashes, I had a brain flash. My husband loved wine, so I used an empty half-bottle that had held Champagne. I still smile every time I think of it!<br /><br />The rest of his ashes went or will go into nature -- the coast of Maine, the mountains of Montana, and (on his second death anniversary this April) somewhere in California (a redwood grove, the Pacific ocean, whatever moves me at the time.)Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07711099868038554656noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-13392499712109023982010-01-22T15:24:15.027-05:002010-01-22T15:24:15.027-05:00Star, I was pretty grateful for the plastic in thi...Star, I was pretty grateful for the plastic in this case. Last thing I wanted all over my hair... ash is the very definition of lightweight flying stuff. But there is a big industry devoted to ecology in burials & it is VERY interesting. <br /><br />Magpie, It's always a loaded topic. There's something big about people dividing themselves off from others after a loss... like we all wish to disappear, make conflict so we can do so gracefully. A big weird knot! Thanks for your visit! <br /><br />X<br /><br />SupaSupa Dupa Freshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07659738264922395349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-15393628057398051992010-01-22T14:31:59.324-05:002010-01-22T14:31:59.324-05:00We had a big fight about what to do with my mother...We had a big fight about what to do with my mother's ashes. Well, not what to do, but who should be there. It's so damned fraught. I love your pot.Magpiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08239311951910405878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-87160770935054438012010-01-20T12:31:17.064-05:002010-01-20T12:31:17.064-05:00Hi Mary,
I'm so sorry for your loss. If you ha...Hi Mary,<br />I'm so sorry for your loss. If you haven't yet, you should meet Mel of Making Tracks (my blogroll under 2007), Fran from Int'l Brotherhood and Hyla of Drop Dead Life (both before 2005). They were all widowed while pregnant.<br />Forgive me if I'm leaving others out... it's fortunate that we're so connected, but my mind slips often.<br />Hugs!<br />X<br />SupaSupa Dupa Freshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07659738264922395349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-23844253847153215332010-01-19T22:34:45.739-05:002010-01-19T22:34:45.739-05:00My husband's ashes have been sitting in the bl...My husband's ashes have been sitting in the black box since the day they came back. On our daughter's first birthday, I buried some of his ashes with the remains of her umbilical cord when I planted a tree for them both in our front yard. The rest of them? Not sure. Right now they're sitting on the fireplace mantle he built, behind a Photoshopped picture of the three of us when Hadley was a day old. It had to be Photoshopped because we couldn't get a good one of all of us while he was on oxygen. I think he'd want to be in North Carolina, where we always vacationed, but part of me doesn't want to give up the ashes. Crazy, I know, because keeping them isn't bringing him back and he's not really in them anyway. As someone else said, it was hard to imagine my loving and effervescent Jim reduced to ashes in a small black box. Maybe I'll move them to a better container and delay the spreading awhile longer. We're coming up on the 2nd anniversary; feels as if I should do something with them then. I'm glad you have a meaningful container for Gavin.Maryhttp://lifeatmoorecottage.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-82318992383825064492010-01-19T22:00:01.159-05:002010-01-19T22:00:01.159-05:00I'm sorry to have friends with the same proble...I'm sorry to have friends with the same problems... <br /><br />Snick and ToriFan,<br /><br />Look at ModernMourner.blogspot.com for "urn and casket alternatives!" Sister Shirley, the site's curator, has a wonderful aesthetic sensibility and "gets" it, plus humor.<br /><br />Chelsea,<br /><br />Ugh, you can learn from my explanation of cremation to my daughter around age 3. See my post, What Short Stack Gets, for the unfortunate details. <br /><br />X<br /><br />SupaSupa Dupa Freshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07659738264922395349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-19829813340068413092010-01-19T21:51:03.036-05:002010-01-19T21:51:03.036-05:00Elias' ashes are currently in a lovely cardboa...Elias' ashes are currently in a lovely cardboard box, complete with packing tape. That's how our funeral home handles it if you don't purchase one of their urns. I initially struggled greatly with the fact that the man I loved - big shoulders, wonderful smile, rough hands, etc was reduced to this box.<br /><br />I am lucky, however, that his carpenter/wood turner uncle (who has an amazing talent) is making 'vessels' for us (we prefer the word vessel instead of urn). He's making 6 in total - one for me, one for his parents, each of his two brothers, and one for each of our two girls for when they are older. The only thing is it will be some time before they're done.<br /><br />Elias and I never discussed what he wanted - but I can't imagine he wanted to be buried and i didn't like the thought of having to go to a cemetery to visit him.<br /><br />I have a little shrine of sorts in my bedroom right now - trying to hide 'the box' a little with photos and other personal items, and I guess that's where he will stay for some time. <br /><br />I haven't yet managed to explain cremation to the girls as of yet - thankfully it hasn't come up . . .<br /><br />~C~Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-69547516006881265002010-01-19T16:54:08.247-05:002010-01-19T16:54:08.247-05:00I'm still figuring out what the do with John&#...I'm still figuring out what the do with John's ashes.<br /><br />I hate the word "cremains," but I love the cheese party idea.Snickollethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-15421878278076319822010-01-19T12:59:11.811-05:002010-01-19T12:59:11.811-05:00I haven't decided on a final resting place for...I haven't decided on a final resting place for Jason's ashes either. I keep telling myself that I will know what to do when the time is right. I love the story behind the pot you used. Very touching.ToriFan13 (Samantha)https://www.blogger.com/profile/01726362176357295057noreply@blogger.com