tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post3729678642176442018..comments2023-07-31T09:35:21.967-04:00Comments on Fresh Widow: Et in Arcadia, Ego.Supa Dupa Freshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07659738264922395349noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-21149855560057560332010-03-27T21:31:10.760-04:002010-03-27T21:31:10.760-04:00What up Supa? I have written and rewritten my comm...What up Supa? I have written and rewritten my comment to this post. But it stirs me on a lot of levels and I find that all I can say is - good and honest post. I wanted to be eloquent but as I am rarely eloquent anyway, I will leave it at that.Johnohttp://www.powderroomgraffiti.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-13722416463264369652010-03-26T14:59:07.223-04:002010-03-26T14:59:07.223-04:00Slash, good observation, we have to know our stren...Slash, good observation, we have to know our strengths and how they fit with others' needs. Clearly here it's MY need speaking first.<br /><br />Thanks for visiting!<br /><br />SupaSupa Dupa Freshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07659738264922395349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-85296780843761715142010-03-26T11:50:34.897-04:002010-03-26T11:50:34.897-04:00It took me a while to figure out why exactly God h...It took me a while to figure out why exactly God had chosen me to be a defacto spokesperson on male bereavement. <br /><br />I took a lot of my early rejections personally until I learned that my role isn't as a "first responder." <br /><br />I'm supposed to come into someone's life after a loss at year number two or three. There are others who come in to hold the hand after the immediate loss and another at year one, but for some reason I'm not that person.Slash Colemanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02096920897770754079noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-18913933360056778482010-03-26T10:26:18.658-04:002010-03-26T10:26:18.658-04:00Annie, as you know, we think a lot alike on this.
...Annie, as you know, we think a lot alike on this.<br /><br />Efrvsnt, That was how I felt about the woman who reached out to me when Gavin was sick. I was scared by her loss, but I was awed to be in the presence of someone who had SURVIVED even though her story had ended differently than I hoped mine would – than I was sure mine would. I thought, she’s looked straight at this thing that I’m avoiding, and even though it hit her in the head, she’s still standing. Not prophecy, but witness. She wasn’t an omen, she was a real Mom. But I suppose if I want to accomplish this goal I should be called “terminal wife” instead of “fresh widow.” Marketing, right?<br /><br />C – You’ve got it. And there’s no way it’s easy. People will respond back when they are ready, if not to me, then to someone else. At least I’ve extended a hand. (Well, I’ve been a little pushy with my hand, but same difference). <br /><br />You know, it took all the strength I had (which wasn’t much) to sit down with Marie (the woman who reached out to me when Gavin was very ill). But I felt ebullient afterward – it was freeing to know she was on the same earth with me, that I wasn’t alone, and even if the WORST happened a human could still mother and laugh -- eventually -- as Marie was doing.Supa Dupa Freshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07659738264922395349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-396018901874075382010-03-26T01:22:32.516-04:002010-03-26T01:22:32.516-04:00It's tough - I know a woman whose husband is a...It's tough - I know a woman whose husband is about to die of the same thing that Elias died of. <br /><br />Similar to what Annie said, while back I told this woman - I can't say anything wonderful to take it away or make it better, and you may not want to talk to me since my story ended up how you don't want yours to, but I understand what you are going through and if you ever want to talk, I'm here."<br /><br />I think she found it helpful as there was no one in her immediate circle who really understood what she was going through. Still, not easy for her, I'm sure.<br /><br />~C~Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-23444309582626785202010-03-25T12:51:14.100-04:002010-03-25T12:51:14.100-04:00I cannot say for certain, but I think if my spouse...I cannot say for certain, but I think if my spouse were riddled with cancer, yes, the fact that you are widowed would frighten me, but the fact that you UNDERSTAND would be more compelling.<br /><br />I think that I would tell myself, well, it happened to her, but it isn't going to happen to me. My spouse won't die, but this person knows at least what it's like to love somebody who is so ill. See, I would still comfort myself with the fantasy. Fantasies are powerful things.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12578124426271620643noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-8775158179235500952010-03-25T12:50:17.854-04:002010-03-25T12:50:17.854-04:00Hope is a fine line to walk. I am glad that I neve...Hope is a fine line to walk. I am glad that I never had it. His death was easier for me because I knew there were no miracles, no rabbits.<br /><br />I don't think we do anyone favors by ignoring the obvious. From my pov, it's better to call things by their right names. There is power in names. You can command that which you can rightly name.anniehttp://anniegirl1138.comnoreply@blogger.com