tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post1284673547064897253..comments2023-07-31T09:35:21.967-04:00Comments on Fresh Widow: It's NOT going to be okay.Supa Dupa Freshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07659738264922395349noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-81048611292456115552010-07-21T23:37:20.541-04:002010-07-21T23:37:20.541-04:00People say a lot of things, hoping to make us feel...People say a lot of things, hoping to make us feel better, and often we repeat them to ourselves. Making ourselves feel better right now is fine, and it doesn't do much to move us in the direction we need to go eventually: toward a new knowledge of who we are, toward a way of living that arises from our present being as well as our past experience. <br /><br />Thanks for passing on the straight talk from your friend. In my book, <i>Loving Grief</i>, I describe my own realization that I wasn't going to get back to the way I was before Bonnie died, or before she got sick. There's no going back, only growing or staying stuck. <br /><br />Thanks for talking about how you've grown. <br /><br />Paul Bennett<br />www.lovinggrief.comPaul Bennetthttp://www.lovinggrief.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-18443633168959501642010-07-21T22:33:41.262-04:002010-07-21T22:33:41.262-04:00Emotional pain never goes away, and it shouldn'...Emotional pain never goes away, and it shouldn't. Choose a place for it inside yourself where it doesn't block your every move but where you can access it. Take it out sometimes, roll around with it and use this knowledge to build your future.<br /><br />EliseAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-1557385447934156282010-04-04T22:02:08.903-04:002010-04-04T22:02:08.903-04:00Lira, of course, I'm sorry to meet you under t...Lira, of course, I'm sorry to meet you under these circumstances, but hope the existence and survival (and FLOURISHING) of so many of us gives you hope and cheer in the coming months and years. We will be here for you, of course. You might like to friend me on FB... it's quite an active discussion group, and diverse.<br />Hugs to you and yours!<br />SupaSupa Dupa Freshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07659738264922395349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-73556161883664198212010-04-04T03:49:53.179-04:002010-04-04T03:49:53.179-04:00Thank you so much for this post. I'm a new wid...Thank you so much for this post. I'm a new widow, lost my husband just four weeks ago at age 44, and in searching for connections stumbled across your blog. I appreciate the raw honesty of your posts... and this one, in particular, really hits home for me.Lirahttp://hourbeforedawn.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-22562456311143214472009-10-24T21:56:12.861-04:002009-10-24T21:56:12.861-04:00Sachin,
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your baby ...Sachin,<br />I'm so sorry for your loss. Your baby is gorgeous. I sent you an e-mail through your blog and I hope you and Matt Logelin can meet up. Of course India is a big country but how unusual that his timing might be so similar to yours?<br />Best wishes, please keep in touch,<br />X<br />SupaSupa Dupa Freshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07659738264922395349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-62365791236945317872009-10-24T06:40:36.854-04:002009-10-24T06:40:36.854-04:00Really nice post. I can really relate to everythin...Really nice post. I can really relate to everything you say. Thanks for sharing.Sachin Palewarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14680182741068698419noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-21054293311048242192009-10-07T14:20:40.159-04:002009-10-07T14:20:40.159-04:00That's such a powerful post and it's all t...That's such a powerful post and it's all true. <br /><br />Mwahs<br />'Bunihunibunihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08191473744055923647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-35153305787573224682009-10-07T12:51:23.582-04:002009-10-07T12:51:23.582-04:00Utterly amazing post! I would say it is the best ...Utterly amazing post! I would say it is the best I have had the honor to read since I started blogging in January. A couple of weeks before my husband died (he was in a coma) a friend who is a nurse told me bluntly that my husband was dying. No one else, including the doctors had given me this news and it blew me out of the water. How dare she say this when everyone else was telling me to hold on to hope?<br /><br />I too have struggled with images of that white horse trotting up and rescuing me from the pain of my life. We so want our lives to be easier after what we have experienced.<br /><br />You've acknowledged the great contradictions that exist for the widowed - we've been dealt a crummy hand yet the world tells us that it will be all right in the end... It probably would have been better for me if more friends and the medical profession had been brutally honest with me about my husband's odds. <br /><br />I love the needlework picture (check out the little book "Subversive Cross Stitch" by Julie Jackson for such genuine messages as "You Suck," "Love Stinks" and "Life Sucks, Then You Die.") The scar analogy is also very good. I hope this post gets read by many. Well done!Widow in the Middlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01598249263166943162noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-81098263366166022422009-10-06T16:54:26.872-04:002009-10-06T16:54:26.872-04:00The analogy of a scar is a great one. I don't...The analogy of a scar is a great one. I don't have many scars but it's a great visual reminder for an emotional subject. I also read recently about the powerful windstorms that shaped the beauty of the grand canyon, and how without those wicked storms we wouldn't experience the new found beauty of the canyons. <br /><br />I remind myself every day that I have a 'choice' to make. I choose to get out of bed, make a day for the girls and I, get out of my pajammas (though not all the time . . .), etc. This is work, and it sounds like you have done a great job of it so far!<br /><br />Thanks Supa!<br />~C~Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3599655836040142750.post-46583027633242857832009-10-05T17:13:38.213-04:002009-10-05T17:13:38.213-04:00What a wonderful post.
It is such a hard lesson to...What a wonderful post.<br />It is such a hard lesson to learn - I'm not sure that I have still fully taken it on board, but I keep plodding upwards too. No idea where I'm going, but hopefully I will make it in the end!<br />J xxJ-in-Waleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02390582364341730481noreply@blogger.com